He Doesn't Make Enough Money. Should I Leave Him?

He doesn't make enough money. Should I leave him?*

by cupidlies on June 23, 2010 | Comments CL(12) FB(0)

When I purchased a house last year, I asked my boyfriend of 2 years to come stay with me. I didn't expect him to help me pay for the mortgage. He makes just enough to support his lifestyle, and does his best to help around the house such as buying groceries and paying a bill here and there.

But our lifestyles together are becoming too expensive and I can't afford to always pay for the both of us anymore. I'm not saying my boyfriend is lazy, but he just doesn't make enough money nor is it easy to find good-paying job. I never thought I'd need a boyfriend who could help me out financially, but now it's hitting me hard and he's part of the reason for the struggle.

Is it wrong to leave him just because he doesn't make enough money even though our past few years together have been great?

Image by: Kamal Machicote

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Comments

Hello / May 11, 2012 8:33PM

jaeskiee / July 4, 2010 4:00AM

I don't think you should let money get in the way of your relationship. Every couple has it's hard times. You can't just go hoppin around different guys searching for a baller. I mean you can, but that would make you a gold digger. So if you are unhappy with the guy leave him. But if you love him you should love him regarless if he's broke or not. I'm sure you don't want him to do the same to you if u were in his shoes.

MisterMachicote / June 26, 2010 6:35PM

Oh just thought of something more helpful, maybe he can send some of his animation stories to Oprah. She is looking for content for her new cable channel OWN. There is info about how to send your ideas on her show web site.

MisterMachicote / June 26, 2010 6:29PM

Sorry mama was not trying to be mean by saying silly broad. Maybe you got a man that wants to be a stay at home dad and he's starting now.

cupidlies / June 25, 2010 9:35AM

@msjonileez - we both love travelling, eating out, checking out different things, etc. It would suck for the both of us to get rid of these things. I don't have a problem supporting myself for these things, but I usually end up having to pay for the both of us and as you can imagine, that can get very expensive. My man is important, but together we create a lifestyle.

@athenakills - he does animation. he creates stories/concepts. His goal is to have his own anime studio, which he can run and direct. Frankly, I don't know how close he is to doing that. Don't get me wrong, he's not lazy, I really think it's just hard to get his work out there. And this is what he knows best so this is what he works towards.

athenakills / June 25, 2010 2:19AM

@cupidlies : Does he treat his artistry as a full time job? Minimum 40 hours working on it a week? There are two types of artists - those who have a message to express and are committed to it enough to spend lots of time on it, and those that fell into art because they never discovered anything else they're good at that they like and/or they're lazy. The vast majority are the latter - work for 5 hours a week, talk, drink, and bullshit for the rest.

What are his goals? True artists' goals are about expression. And that doesn't always pay the bills. What kind of an artist is he?

msjonileez / June 24, 2010 4:11PM

If living together and being together has been great, have you considered downgrading your lifestyles? i.e if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down

Hey ma, a great guy is hard to find, so replace the things that are easily replaceable. Why consider being unhappy just because you're being "taken care of."

I think you should prioritize what means more to you: your man, or your lifestyle...

cupidlies / June 24, 2010 1:45PM

@athenakills - you bring up a good point on values. See the thing is I'm very goal oriented and so is he. However, he's an artist. He has aspirations to become successful, but he's not really doing what it takes to get there (whatever that may be). And I realize that can be difficult - to even know what to do. He works hard at whatever he does. Still, that doesn't translate into knowing how to make money. I just wish he made more money than me or at least about the same so we can fit our lifestyle.

@MisterMachicote - you don't have to be so mean! by OUR lifestyle, I mean the fun stuff we do together like travel and eat out. That can get very expensive. We both like to do those things and don't want to change them. But I can't always afford it for the both of us, jerk!

MisterMachicote / June 23, 2010 11:22PM

Ok you know what you a silly Broad. If you didn't expect him to help you PAY for YOUR mortgage and HE makes just enough to support his lifestyle, and does his best to help around the house such as buying groceries and paying a bill here and there. WHATS THE PROBLEM! What are you paying for if he can support his lifestyle and you yours? THe Problem is You want a dude that can support his lifestyle and yours.

athenakills / June 23, 2010 2:39PM

Financial issues are one of the top reasons, if not the top reason, that relationships fail. Not having enough money is actually not the root reason; it's a circumstance that exposes the real issue - differences in value.

You might want to consider if you have the same values. If you do, you usually can work to make changes to live within your means. This is also about hard work. Is he a hard worker? Are you? People with work ethic seem to be more scarce these days, perhaps that is also something to consider.

In a way these issues should be straightforward to figure out - it's all numbers and yes/no answers about values and hard work. Don't let feelings get in the way. They are important, but you do need to answer the question : Is this relationship with our current lifestyle and if not, can we make changes so that it is. Your answer may be 'no', and emotions may lead you to stay together anyway, however at least you'll know why you are doing what you are doing.

onelove / June 23, 2010 2:21PM

This is tough because you've probably already fallen for him. You've probably heard many say that relationships aren't about money and sex, but the truth of the matter is they play a great role. People break up because of financial differences and wack sex or lack of. So no, I do not think it's wrong for you to leave. You're going to keep struggling with him unless you change your lifestyles (i.e. where does all your money go?).

Elisa / June 23, 2010 12:46PM

First you should ask what is his lifestyle like? If he is in a relationship with you and is something both of you want then you need to put everything on the table and make him part of the responsabilities in the house. Sorry this is your man, not your child! and if he tells you he cant then you are better off getting someone who can!